251 vs...4

days ago I arrived in Nantes...days until I leave.

those chiffres (numbers) scare the living daylights out of me. I can NOT believe this year is over. I'm in the midst of finishing my IS (25 pages so far, and still not *quite* done), taking final exams (only three, thank goodness) and trying to pack (HAH!). of course, there's also the trying-desperately-to-savor-everything that always happens at the end of a school year.

it's just that it's even more extreme than usual. the past two years, it's been to leave for the summer and then come back in a matter of months. now, it's leave for the summer...and come back eventually. sometime in the future. I know perfectly well I'll come back...it may be thirty years from now like mum (who arrived safe and sound, if jetlagged this morning!!), it may be shortly after graduation. on sait jamais (one never knows).

all the same, I'm a veritable jumble of emotions right now. I'm VERY ready to see Mum and Papa and travel with them. I'm DEFINITELY very ready to finish with this IS!! I'm ready(ish) to come home to the states, even though I know it's going to be a really rough transition -but I'm dying to see all my friends, so it'll be more than worth it!! I'm ready to face the summer and all the changes it's bringing to Whitman. I'm REALLY ready to go back to Wooster in August and see all the people I've missed so much this year.

but...(there's always a but) I'm not ready to leave France. I'm not ready to go back to no trams that'll get you anywhere you need to go. I'm not ready to go back to speaking english every day. I'm not ready to go to a place where I can't get fresh baguettes and pain au chocolat whenever I want. I'm DEFINITELY not ready to leave the AMAZING friends I've made here. I'm not sure I'm ready to face the growing pains that I know are waiting for me when I try to find a place for the new person that I am in the old settings.

on verra...(we'll see).
back to IS/studying/packing for me!
à +!

oh yeah...a couple more pictures!